Does meditation aid in the development of a child’s personality or hinder it?
by Sarah Wood Vallely
I often practice Insight Meditation. If I delve deep enough into this mindful experience I begin to lose my sense of “self”. If I do this during walking meditation, there is awareness of trees scrolling by and the sound of feet hitting the ground, however, “Sarah” ceases to exist and all that is left is motion.
Okay, sounds great if I am 40 but what about a six year old? I believe creating a stage for a child to fully develop his or her personality and sense of self is paramount. Since some meditations actually lend to transcending the self and/or personality, I have to ask myself, “Does meditation aid in the development of a child’s personality or hinder it?”
Psychologists have determined we are not born with a concept of “self”, but instead decide when we are toddlers that we are in fact separate beings. A mystic I admire, David Spangler, writes that our personalities are a “relationship” – a relationship between our spirit and our world. He further explains that our personalities allow us to function in our world. (Spangler's memoir cited below)
Psychologists also say children can adopt coping mechanisms that impede a child’s ability to develop certain aspects of their personality. For example, a child might identify with someone else’s expectation of who they should be instead of finding their own way. Carl Rogers, research pioneer in psychology, used the term “real self” to describe the "you" that, if all goes well, you will become. Abraham Maslow, the guy with the pyramid, also emphasized the importance of our real selves. He called it self-actualization, the top dog in his hierarchy of needs.
I believe meditations that help children slow down and be with themselves, are one more way children can develop their personality inline with their highest potential. The following are a few meditations I use to aid children to connect with their real selves.
The Grounding Cord – children root their energy into the core of the earth so they can let go of the chatter of their environments
Me and My Zen – children breathe deeply and notice what thoughts pop up in their minds
Clearing My Chakras – children balance their physical, mental, and emotional bodies so that they can become still and clear-headed.
Many experts also agree a child’s ability to express and notice his or her emotions, plays an important role in their personality development. I often lead children through a meditation called The Happy Tree, because it helps children take a step back and look at their emotions. During this experience, they rely on their own inner guidance to show them how to bring harmony to their uncomfortable feelings. Erik Erikson, well-known developmental psychologist, believed that children advance in healthy ways when they achieve a sense of independence and learn how to take initiative. Teaching children how to go within for answers is a wonderful way to help children become more resourceful.
And let’s not forget all those child development theories and findings that state play is one of the best ways to aid a child to develop his or her personality. Play allows children to express themselves fully, ignite creativity, and be themselves. An element of play is spun through most of the meditations I guide children to practice, however, The Time Machine fits this bill the best. During this exercise, children are propelled into a fantastic adventure within. This meditation is a favorite among the children I work with because it allows little meditators to expand and form their selves without limitations.
In conclusion, Spangler also writes that when we develop personalities that express the nature of our souls, we more easily fulfill our life purpose. Our loving and accepting parenting, teaching, and practitioner work we do with children all aid children to express their true essences. Let meditation be one more self-realizing gift we give to our children.
Guiding a child to dissolve the “self” may be jumping a head a bit. However, many practices are available, as mentioned above, that help children develop their personalities and form selves that are congruent with their highest potentials.
Apprenticed to Spirit by David Spangler
I often practice Insight Meditation. If I delve deep enough into this mindful experience I begin to lose my sense of “self”. If I do this during walking meditation, there is awareness of trees scrolling by and the sound of feet hitting the ground, however, “Sarah” ceases to exist and all that is left is motion.
Okay, sounds great if I am 40 but what about a six year old? I believe creating a stage for a child to fully develop his or her personality and sense of self is paramount. Since some meditations actually lend to transcending the self and/or personality, I have to ask myself, “Does meditation aid in the development of a child’s personality or hinder it?”
Psychologists have determined we are not born with a concept of “self”, but instead decide when we are toddlers that we are in fact separate beings. A mystic I admire, David Spangler, writes that our personalities are a “relationship” – a relationship between our spirit and our world. He further explains that our personalities allow us to function in our world. (Spangler's memoir cited below)
Psychologists also say children can adopt coping mechanisms that impede a child’s ability to develop certain aspects of their personality. For example, a child might identify with someone else’s expectation of who they should be instead of finding their own way. Carl Rogers, research pioneer in psychology, used the term “real self” to describe the "you" that, if all goes well, you will become. Abraham Maslow, the guy with the pyramid, also emphasized the importance of our real selves. He called it self-actualization, the top dog in his hierarchy of needs.
I believe meditations that help children slow down and be with themselves, are one more way children can develop their personality inline with their highest potential. The following are a few meditations I use to aid children to connect with their real selves.
The Grounding Cord – children root their energy into the core of the earth so they can let go of the chatter of their environments
Me and My Zen – children breathe deeply and notice what thoughts pop up in their minds
Clearing My Chakras – children balance their physical, mental, and emotional bodies so that they can become still and clear-headed.
Many experts also agree a child’s ability to express and notice his or her emotions, plays an important role in their personality development. I often lead children through a meditation called The Happy Tree, because it helps children take a step back and look at their emotions. During this experience, they rely on their own inner guidance to show them how to bring harmony to their uncomfortable feelings. Erik Erikson, well-known developmental psychologist, believed that children advance in healthy ways when they achieve a sense of independence and learn how to take initiative. Teaching children how to go within for answers is a wonderful way to help children become more resourceful.
And let’s not forget all those child development theories and findings that state play is one of the best ways to aid a child to develop his or her personality. Play allows children to express themselves fully, ignite creativity, and be themselves. An element of play is spun through most of the meditations I guide children to practice, however, The Time Machine fits this bill the best. During this exercise, children are propelled into a fantastic adventure within. This meditation is a favorite among the children I work with because it allows little meditators to expand and form their selves without limitations.
In conclusion, Spangler also writes that when we develop personalities that express the nature of our souls, we more easily fulfill our life purpose. Our loving and accepting parenting, teaching, and practitioner work we do with children all aid children to express their true essences. Let meditation be one more self-realizing gift we give to our children.
Guiding a child to dissolve the “self” may be jumping a head a bit. However, many practices are available, as mentioned above, that help children develop their personalities and form selves that are congruent with their highest potentials.
Apprenticed to Spirit by David Spangler
