Children Use Meditation to Cope with Unimaginable Stress
Sarah Wood Vallely April 2009
I met Sarah Tower last August, during my Child Meditation Facilitators tele-course. We spent six consecutive Saturdays together on the phone with fifteen other students from Texas to Singapore. Sarah has a Master of Science in Child Life and Family Centered Care and is a Certified Child Life Specialist in Ohio. I was delighted to learn Certified Child Life Specialists (CCLS) are experts in child development and psychosocial care who assist children with a range of challenges, most typically related to healthcare. For example, a CCLS might help a child prepare for surgery by educating her about the air mask she’ll have to wear during surgery by showing it to her and practicing taking deep breaths with the mask on. A CCLS will often go into the operating room with her young patients.
Last August I was thrilled to learn Sarah incorporates meditation into her work with children, helping them cope with stress. Last week I caught up with Sarah and learned even more about her position as Director of Adult and Child Programming at Stewart's Caring Place, a non-medical cancer wellness center supporting cancer patients and their families through all stages of cancer www.stewartscaringplace.org . The center offers counseling, education, support groups and alternative healing. All these services are available for free, as the center is funded by private donors.
Most of the young clients Sarah works with have siblings or parents struggling with cancer. These children are sensitive to the severe stresses their families are under and thus do not feel comfortable expressing their emotions in the midst of this constant worry. Andy’s story is a typical one. His dad has cancer, his mom is sad and both his parents are at the doctors much of the time. There isn’t time for Andy to ask his parents questions like, “What does chemo do?”, “What is cancer?” and “Can you get cancer from hugging someone?” Working with a Certified Child Life Specialist, Andy is more apt to show his feelings and is encouraged to ask questions.
Relaxation Group for Children
One of the services Sarah offers is a bimonthly children’s relaxation group. Sarah begins each class asking “What is going on this week that makes you feel stressed?” Then they discuss what each child does or could do to overcome that stress, whether it is anxiety caused by a bad test grade or disappointment about their Mom’s bad test results. One child shares “I almost got into a fight but I took three breaths.”
Sarah turns on soothing music. She asks the children how this music makes them feel. The lights are dimmed and then the children sit up, legs crossed with hands placed on their bellies. They take deep breaths, feeling their bellies expand with their hands. They imagine a pole going through their bodies from the top of their heads down their spines. This helps them sit straight and raise their shoulders.
After ten minutes of breathing, Sarah leads the children through a variety of yoga positions for twenty-five minutes. Their yoga session is concluded with a sponge pose – lying on their backs with palms facing up for ten minutes. During this time they use the bathroom or listen to music. Next, Sarah leads a guided meditation, such as The Happy Tree from my book Sensational Meditation for Children. During this meditation, children are guided to imagine a tree with fruit on it, then ask the fruit what it needs and finally give their fruit whatever it needs. Some children say their fruit needs food, water or sunlight, while others share that their fruit needs “time alone” or “a hug.” After meditating, children share comments like, “My fruit feels like it can talk now” and “My fruit wants to smile.” This exercise helps children identify their needs and fill them.
At the conclusion of the meditation, the children imagine rays of sunlight shining on their trees. Children describe how they can actually feel the warmth of the sun on their bodies. Sarah says she feels the energy in the classroom lighten during this last segment of the meditation.
Helping Excited Children Quiet Themselves
I was amazed to learn that Sarah’s twelve to fifteen students between the ages of five and twelve-years-old spend a complete hour and a half engaged in relaxation. I asked her how she approaches children who find this length of time too difficult. It turns out yoga mats are one of her best kept secrets. Children know where their space is and for the most part they enjoy staying in their special space. Sarah also encourages her students to focus on the music and reminds fidgeting children to take deep breaths. Sarah sometimes suggests that the students make up their own story or simply listen to the music if they are not interested in the meditation. She finds children between eight and ten-years-old to be most challenged by the exercises. She suggests they change position or keep their eyes open. Sarah reminds everyone, “This is your time to relax and however you choose do this is up to you.”
At the conclusion of her classes, the children color mandalas, which are concentric diagrams said to help meditators access deeper levels of consciousness. One of the biggest challenges these children face is accepting that things happen in their lives that have no apparent explanation. Sarah sometimes chooses a mandala design for each child and four markers, instead of letting the children pick them out. She then tells them, “This is what I have given you, let’s see what you can do with it.” Many of the children share later that even though their design and marker colors are not what they would have chosen, they ended up liking them in the end.
Parent’s Are Thrilled with the Results
I asked Sarah how the children’s parents respond to her relaxation group. Although the majority of the parents have no prior knowledge of meditation, they are impressed and appreciate their children learning guided meditation and yoga. Some parents tell Sarah their children notice their own anger and stress more easily and take deep breaths until they feel better. One parent shared that her child asked for her own yoga mat so she could practice meditation and yoga at home. Another parent said since his child is more aware of his own stress he is able to point out when his parents are stressed. Sarah has worked with many children for as long as a year and a half. She says the children genuinely enjoy learning relaxation techniques and often ask, “When are we going to hear another meditation story?”
Last August I was thrilled to learn Sarah incorporates meditation into her work with children, helping them cope with stress. Last week I caught up with Sarah and learned even more about her position as Director of Adult and Child Programming at Stewart's Caring Place, a non-medical cancer wellness center supporting cancer patients and their families through all stages of cancer www.stewartscaringplace.org . The center offers counseling, education, support groups and alternative healing. All these services are available for free, as the center is funded by private donors.
Most of the young clients Sarah works with have siblings or parents struggling with cancer. These children are sensitive to the severe stresses their families are under and thus do not feel comfortable expressing their emotions in the midst of this constant worry. Andy’s story is a typical one. His dad has cancer, his mom is sad and both his parents are at the doctors much of the time. There isn’t time for Andy to ask his parents questions like, “What does chemo do?”, “What is cancer?” and “Can you get cancer from hugging someone?” Working with a Certified Child Life Specialist, Andy is more apt to show his feelings and is encouraged to ask questions.
Relaxation Group for Children
One of the services Sarah offers is a bimonthly children’s relaxation group. Sarah begins each class asking “What is going on this week that makes you feel stressed?” Then they discuss what each child does or could do to overcome that stress, whether it is anxiety caused by a bad test grade or disappointment about their Mom’s bad test results. One child shares “I almost got into a fight but I took three breaths.”
Sarah turns on soothing music. She asks the children how this music makes them feel. The lights are dimmed and then the children sit up, legs crossed with hands placed on their bellies. They take deep breaths, feeling their bellies expand with their hands. They imagine a pole going through their bodies from the top of their heads down their spines. This helps them sit straight and raise their shoulders.
After ten minutes of breathing, Sarah leads the children through a variety of yoga positions for twenty-five minutes. Their yoga session is concluded with a sponge pose – lying on their backs with palms facing up for ten minutes. During this time they use the bathroom or listen to music. Next, Sarah leads a guided meditation, such as The Happy Tree from my book Sensational Meditation for Children. During this meditation, children are guided to imagine a tree with fruit on it, then ask the fruit what it needs and finally give their fruit whatever it needs. Some children say their fruit needs food, water or sunlight, while others share that their fruit needs “time alone” or “a hug.” After meditating, children share comments like, “My fruit feels like it can talk now” and “My fruit wants to smile.” This exercise helps children identify their needs and fill them.
At the conclusion of the meditation, the children imagine rays of sunlight shining on their trees. Children describe how they can actually feel the warmth of the sun on their bodies. Sarah says she feels the energy in the classroom lighten during this last segment of the meditation.
Helping Excited Children Quiet Themselves
I was amazed to learn that Sarah’s twelve to fifteen students between the ages of five and twelve-years-old spend a complete hour and a half engaged in relaxation. I asked her how she approaches children who find this length of time too difficult. It turns out yoga mats are one of her best kept secrets. Children know where their space is and for the most part they enjoy staying in their special space. Sarah also encourages her students to focus on the music and reminds fidgeting children to take deep breaths. Sarah sometimes suggests that the students make up their own story or simply listen to the music if they are not interested in the meditation. She finds children between eight and ten-years-old to be most challenged by the exercises. She suggests they change position or keep their eyes open. Sarah reminds everyone, “This is your time to relax and however you choose do this is up to you.”
At the conclusion of her classes, the children color mandalas, which are concentric diagrams said to help meditators access deeper levels of consciousness. One of the biggest challenges these children face is accepting that things happen in their lives that have no apparent explanation. Sarah sometimes chooses a mandala design for each child and four markers, instead of letting the children pick them out. She then tells them, “This is what I have given you, let’s see what you can do with it.” Many of the children share later that even though their design and marker colors are not what they would have chosen, they ended up liking them in the end.
Parent’s Are Thrilled with the Results
I asked Sarah how the children’s parents respond to her relaxation group. Although the majority of the parents have no prior knowledge of meditation, they are impressed and appreciate their children learning guided meditation and yoga. Some parents tell Sarah their children notice their own anger and stress more easily and take deep breaths until they feel better. One parent shared that her child asked for her own yoga mat so she could practice meditation and yoga at home. Another parent said since his child is more aware of his own stress he is able to point out when his parents are stressed. Sarah has worked with many children for as long as a year and a half. She says the children genuinely enjoy learning relaxation techniques and often ask, “When are we going to hear another meditation story?”
