Nov 2008

Meditation Techniques for Parents – The Fantastic Five

I am baffled by parents who venture on road trips without a portable DVD player. In the same way, I am awestruck by those who brave parenting without meditating. Meditation is an integral part of my parenting. I use various types of meditation, each with its own purpose. These techniques help me gain restful sleep, achieve emotional balance and maintain mindfulness. No matter the technique, they all heighten my experiences with my children.

I even use a particular meditation technique to find new approaches to inspire my children to follow certain rules and complete tasks like clean up. And I use a powerful meditation to heal hurt between my children and me; whether from an argument over an outfit or a long time pattern of not feeling heard.

This article covers each of these five meditation tools. I call these tools the Fantastic Five. Being a parent is my spiritual path and practice. With these Fantastic Five meditation tools, I bring myself back to a place of peace, serenity, clarity and, dare I say, a step closer to enlightenment.

Finding Time to Meditate
Before I delve into these powerful tools, let me address your concerns about finding time and a quiet place to meditate. As busy moms and dads, time and quiet are usually things we hear about; definitely not a reality. Before you begin your mediation practice, simply set the intention to meditate. Do not pressure yourself. Once during the day for about a week, think about meditating. Then think about meditating twice a day the next week. Then imagine where and when you will meditate a few times a day the third week. Hopefully by this point you will have sent enough energy into the universe to begin creating the time to meditate. During the fourth week, notice anything that indicates that you do have the time to meditate. Maybe a moment will materialize when all is still and you can sit quietly, if only for five minutes. When you begin meditating, meditate as much or as little as you feel works for you. Once a day, once a week – it is your practice, you decide.

You might prefer (as I do) to meditate in the evenings after your children are asleep. Or you might consider temporarily giving up a weekly or daily activity and meditate instead. For example, you could check your email every other day instead of every day. Another solution is holding one meditation over a few sessions. This is easy. Begin one of the Fantastic Five meditations before bed. Let yourself fall asleep when you need to. When you awake in the morning, continue your meditation where you dropped off. Suspend your meditation when your alarm rings or a child awakens you. Then take a moment later in the day to complete your meditation. I go through this process frequently. I do not put a lot of energy into the form my meditation takes. It may manifest in a way entirely different than I anticipate. Be open to the possibilities of your own meditation practice. Let it emerge in the perfect way that works for you. This is your practice; therefore you get to decide.

Gaining Restful Sleep
My meditation teacher says that the need for sleep is merely a belief. Well, it might be a belief, but I have not been able to transcend my need for a good night’s sleep. I am a better parent when I am fully rested. My patience, good judgment and humor evaporates when I am tired. When I do not sleep well or carve out enough time for a good night’s sleep, I am often ungrounded as well. I am swept up into the drama of my life. I have lost touch with the simplicity of my being because I have lost connection with my center.

First Fantastic Five Meditation – The Grounding Cord: I use this grounding meditation to bring me down from the pinnacle where I witness my life swirling by.
Imagine a cord attached to the bottom of your spine, extending through the floor beneath you all the way to the center of the planet. Notice what moves through your being and down the cord. You might see colors flowing down, hear the pitter patter of falling pebbles or feel lighter as heaviness drops away. How you experience this is perfect for you. You are letting go of energies that once served you but now are obstacles to becoming grounded in your life.
In this reclaimed space you can consider exactly what you want to do with your day instead of your day deciding for you. Now sleep long and well. Be rested for tomorrow.

Achieving Emotional Balance
Our emotions play a key role in our parenting. As in any close relationship, our children stir up emotions within us. When my daughter and I get ready to leave the house, I sometimes become angry because my daughter finds anything else to do except what I need her to do to get ready. We are joyful when we hear our children laugh. We are sad when we feel our children are let down and we can become angry when things don’t go our way. Emotions are beautiful, and I can’t imagine a full life without them. However, being able to take a step back from our emotions can show us a life changing perspective.

Second Fantastic Five Meditation – Notice Emotions Instead of Becoming Them: This meditation will help you practice transcending the drama of life and parenting. For example, if your child does something that brings up anger for you, notice this anger instead of living it. This will help you approach parenting with more inner power and sense.
Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Become aware of the thoughts and emotions you experience one at a time. With each thought or emotion say to yourself, “I’m noticing I am thinking about what my child said to me. I’m noticing the anger I’m feeling. I’m noticing that I’m frustrated with my ability to meditate. I’m noticing that I’m excited about my friend coming to town. I’m noticing that I feel tired and might fall asleep.” Practice noticing instead of spending energy wrapped up in the thoughts and emotions. Take a deep breath and NOTICE what you are thinking and feeling. Keep with it until you feel less involved in the emotion and more active as an observer of yourself experiencing the emotion. This is a meditation you can do in the moment, while you are addressing a challenging situation with your child.

Maintaining Mindfulness in the Present Moment
As parents, multi-tasking is not only an applauded skill, it is essential to parent survival. While I tell my daughter how to spell “America,” I dish out food for the cat and stop to tie my son’s shoe. All the while, I’m cleaning up toys strewn across the kitchen floor. What present moment? My body is two steps ahead of my mind sometimes. However, when I make time to meditate, I find my life actually slows down afterwards - some kind of miracle tranquility. My daughter still needs help with spelling, my son’s shoe still needs tying and the cat gets feed, but this whole experience shifts down a few gears, and I am mindful of the flow of my motherly energy winding in and through the desires of my children, as I glide through my kitchen and my life. When I am in my present moment, I enjoy my children more fully.

Third Fantastic Five Meditation - Sensational Focus: This meditation is a great way to practice being mindful in the present moment.
Close your eyes. Breath deeply. When your eyes are closed, your senses of hearing, touch, smell and taste increase. Take several minutes to notice things around you:
Listen to your outer environment. What do you hear?
Take a deep breath. Any scents in the air?
What sensations do you feel in your body?
What are you tasting right now?

Find New Ways to Inspire Your Children
Have you ever felt like your requests and explanations are not penetrating into the beauty of your child’s carefree mind. Several years have passed since our childhood. Therefore, it can be difficult for us to understand how children interpret the world, experience the events around them and perceive what we say. Your desire to have a clean house and your explanation of why clean is good, for example, might not resonate with your child. If we glimpse into the minds of our children, we can learn where their motives stem from and what inspires them to act. We would know how to make our requests click in their minds. Moreover, a peek into their consciousness might give us inspiration to change our needs.

Fourth Fantastic Five Mediation - Experiencing a Child’s World: Using this meditation tool, we can look through the eyes of our children to see how they might experience what we are trying to convey. This new perspective shows us the best course of action to take.
Close your eyes, take three calming breaths, and imagine yourself as a child. You do not need to imagine you are your child, nor do you need to imagine you are you when you were a child. Simply imagine you are the same age and possibly gender as your child. Allow yourself to follow this child’s movements until you encounter a situation involving your subject. (If your subject is “clean up,” for instance, wait until this child in your mind enters a messy room and is asked to clean it up.) Then see what this child sees, hear what this child hears, notice what this child thinks and feels. How does the child experience this subject?

Heal Hurt Between You and Your Child
The relationship between parent and child is divine, intense, karmic and, on some level, nothing like any other bond. Even having a child as young as a few years old might cause hurt and pain. Through meditation I have been able to address this pain and bring harmony to it. My children mirror my consciousness. If I look into this mirror, it reflects who I am, who I want to be, and who I do not want to be. Therefore, when I feel my children are acting out or not following directions, they are usually showing me something important about myself.

Fifth Fantastic Five Meditation – Looking into the Mirror: In meditation, we bypass our intellect and find answers deep within. In so doing, we transform frustration into growth and recognize our child’s invitation to heal.
Close your eyes and take a few relaxing breaths. Consider what feelings and thoughts your child triggers in you. What button is your child pushing? Ask yourself this key question: What is my child mirroring to me? Be open to sounds, words, images, and emotions. Trust what you hear, see and feel.

Bringing focus back without judgment is an important element in meditation. With this in mind, ignite self-compassion when you loose your emotional balance or connection to your center. We are after all, vibrant beings, leading exciting lives. Simply know you are empowered with meditation tools that can bring you back to center and into your balance when you choose too.

More information at www.sarahwood.com.

Article written by Sarah Wood Vallely

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Amazon Reviews

Sarah Wood Vallely has thought of everything to help readers to know and understand exactly what is involved in teaching children to meditate.

Children can learn meditation techniques quickly with Sarah's short meditations and they have great fun with all the exercises and crafts that the book offers as well.

I am excited to give this book to my daughter's school as the teacher will be utilizing it in her classroom.

Sarah does an outstanding job guiding you on how to bring such benefits of meditation to your children and more.

Sarah has created some wonderfully fun, creative exercises that capture the children's imagination.

 

Meet Child Meditation Facilitators

Donna Messina, Certified Child Meditation Facilitator, Holistic Health Counselor and Soul Therapy Practitioner, teaches basic meditation skills to both children and adults ~ Group and Private Sessions. www.simplebalance.citymax.com

Click Here to learn about more facilitators near you.

Sarah was a recent guest on a Canadian radio program called The Good Life, a show designed to help people find answers to key questions about health, anti-aging, lifestyles, sports, fitness, and wellness.

 

 

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