Introducing Meditation to Children

Sarah Wood Vallely, Inspired Parenting Magazine August 2008

Children are naturally good meditators, therefore, introducing your child to this fabulous new world of experience is quite easy. Many adults are skeptical about a child’s ability to meditate because many adults find it difficult to sit down and focus. But children love meditation—it allows them to use their creative imaginations without limitation. Although they might be sitting still, their minds are in Technicolor overdrive at a level many grownups have forgotten is possible.
Children do not require a dark, quiet room or a place free from distractions when they meditate. Children can easily jump into and out of meditation when something interrupts them. Much of this ability is due to their brainwave state: children naturally exist in a meditative state.

Our brains emit waves that can be detected and measured. The slowest detected waves are delta waves (4 cycles per second). We experience this wave pattern when we are sleeping or in a deep hypnotic state.(End Note 1) Interestingly, children from birth to two years old spend most of their time in this state. As a child matures, these waves gradually quicken. Between two and six years of age, children spend much of their time in a theta state (4 to 8 cycles per second). This is a calm, meditative state when the analytical mind is at rest. Later, a child’s brain wave pattern increases to the alpha state (8 to 12 cycles per second). In this state we are quiet, yet open to the workings of the world. Eventually, in adolescence, a child moves into the beta state (12 to 35 cycles per second). This is a state that lends itself well to analytical tasks, and is the state that most of us settle into in adulthood.

Many postulate that the reason infants’ and children’s brains function in slower brain wave states is because they have so very much to learn about their world. If they were to analyze everything that came into their experience they would be overwhelmed and might not even be able to function. Instead, for example, infants remain in a deep meditative delta state that allows information to stream through their senses and settle into their subconscious.

As adults we may have difficulty accessing our inner mind to experience the images, sounds, and feelings that arise in meditation. Society puts a premium on a certain kind of rational intelligence, at the cost of imagination and creativity. Children, on the other hand, are by nature imaginative, and happily use their inner and outer senses to explore their inner and outer worlds. I find in general that the children I teach are far more open to the practice than my adult students. They grasp far more easily that a feeling can have color or that they can taste something without ever putting it into their mouths, because their imaginations allow for such experiences in their everyday world. They don’t have to be told that they can feel energy flowing through their bodies; they know this already. They are aware of the life energy pulsing within them.

Introducing the Word “Meditation”

Meditation is a relatively big word for most children, and indeed, defining meditation can be intimidating even when explaining it to an adult. One simple definition of meditation is experiencing our inner and outer worlds, usually with our eyes closed. When I talk to children, I often describe meditation as seeing, hearing, and feeling our world with our eyes closed. I also tell them that when we meditate, we can practice actions or feelings in our heads so that we can do them easily later on. I offer an easy example: if you do not know how to ride a bike, seeing yourself ride a bike in your mind will help you learn. Then I might up the ante a bit and offer a more abstract example, one that has emotional and psychological implications. I might say, “When you practice how to let go of angry energy in your body during meditation, you can more easily let go of your anger when you feel it after meditating.”

Older children respond to definitions like we are creating a connection to a divine source, experiencing inner silence, or using metaphoric journey to heal and understand ourselves better.
Before you attempt to convey to your child what meditation is, I invite you to explore your own personal definition. There is no absolutely right way to define meditation. The first step is to have your own definition. Once you have it, translate it into simple language that your child can relate to, using your knowledge of who your child is and how he or she perceives the world will help you choose the right words.

Consider the following questions while forming your definition, especially if you are new to meditation.
Why do I meditate?
What do I feel when I meditate?
How do I position my body?
What is my mind doing while I meditate?
How does meditation help people?

If you are new to meditation, the answers may not come easy. But just giving them a try will help you formulate a definition that your child can understand. When you are ready to share it with your child, stress that this is what meditation means to you, and keep it simple.

You May Give Them Your Love But Not Your Thoughts

Meditation empowers us to find the happiness we naturally strive for, however; the way we are taught to meditate also empowers us. The elements of my approach to teaching and parenting sprout from one single intention: to empower children to be happy and fully alive human beings.
Kahlil Gibran, a beloved, Near East poet, philosopher and artist, writes a poem about children, in his book The Prophet.(End Note 2)He says,

“You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.”
Can we teach a spiritual practice or a set of skills to children without shaping their thoughts? I believe we can if we consciously introduce meditation to children. Gibran continues his beliefs on children,
“You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

Our job is to focus on facilitating experiences for our children and let them draw their own conclusions. One way to avoid shaping your child’s thinking is to empower your child to decide what meditation means for themselves. This enhances your child’s sense of themselves and their practice; he or she realizes they have the power to define it.

When you talk about meditation, say to your child, “This is what meditation means to me. What does meditation mean to you?” You and your child learn together and from one another. Together you discover what meditation means in your lives.

Our beliefs about how the universe works are our own. Let us create space for our child.

End Notes:
1. Lipton, Bruce. The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter & Miracles. Santa Rosa, Calif.: Elite Books, 2005.
2. Kahlil Gibran. The Prophet. Alfred A. Knopf: New York 1923.

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