What Self-reflection did for one Child Meditation Facilitator

Sarah Wood Vallely Augist 2005

The following article is about another little girl with an issue similar to Jackie’s; however, the stories are different. In the previous article, 9-year-old Jackie learns meditation. In the following account, Steffanie, the teacher, meditates.

Teacher and Student Heal Together
Steffanie Bjorgan teaches Junior/Senior Kindergarten in Ontario, Canada. One of her students, Amy, five years old, used to be unusually quiet in class – often not speaking when spoken to. Sometimes Amy would hold her hand up to speak, only to keep her silence when called on. Although Steffanie was aware of Amy’s challenges, her behavior frustrated Steffanie at times.

With the help of a meditation that encourages parents and professionals to grow spiritually with children, Steffanie now better understands her relationship with Amy. In meditation, Steffanie remembered how difficult it was for her to express herself during her childhood. “In my relationship with my mother, I had no voice. I stopped talking to her unless it was necessary,” Steffanie confides.

During her meditation experience, Steffanie instantly viewed the world through her student’s watchful eyes and guarded heart. “I saw myself in that little girl and I didn't want her to shut down like I did,” Steffanie shares. She also realized her attempts to get Amy to talk were actually attempts to control Amy’s voice. (Please note, the dynamic between Amy and Steffanie is unique to them – not all attempts to encourage a child to speak are controlling.) After her meditation, Steffanie committed to listen fully to Amy, supporting her power and voice.

Remarkably, the next day everything changed. The way this teacher and student looked at each other was nothing like before. In meditation, Steffanie had also envisioned sitting with Amy eye-to-eye and toe-to-toe on the floor, supporting her to speak when she was ready. Steffanie did exactly this and Amy eventually began to talk more freely. Amy continues to respond and participate in discussions months later.

Steffanie says she believes her feelings of sadness and hopelessness concerning her own voice as a child got in the way of her progress with her student. Steffanie adds, “This experience transformed me, and reminded me that to be a great teacher I don't have to do all the talking. Creating a safe environment for expression and being a good listener is just as important.”

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